Choose Your Own Misery by Mike MacDonald

Author:Mike MacDonald [MacDonald, Mike & Gagnon, Jilly]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781682303184
Publisher: Diversion Books
Published: 2016-08-16T16:00:00+00:00

* * *

Be the good guy. The lawful good guy. Go HERE.

MWAHAHAHAHA! IT’S FINALLY YOUR CHANCE TO LET OUT YOUR INNER DARKNESS! Go HERE.

You have to let that go. You’ve moved beyond D&E. And since you have, your girlfriends have been rolling natural…well, twelves or thirteens, at least, in hotness. And they have modifiers, too. That’s not something you can turn your back on.

You meander to the other end of the snack table. Awesome, there’s shrimp hiding down here! You hadn’t seen that when you first came over. You’re always too cheap to buy shrimp for your own parties; whenever you see it elsewhere you try to get your fill.

No one approaches. After about ten minutes of concerted shrimp eating, you wander over toward Debby. She’s talking to Brad—perfect, this will be your in with him!

“So, Debby, it’s been a while since—”

“One second, Brad and I have to finish these parody Rudolph lyrics. SNRCK! They’re hi-lar-ious.” Debby’s nose is gumdrop red and she’s swaying into Brad, like one of those blowup car lot balloons, but wearing more red and green velour.

“Oh. Where are you stuck? I could—”

“It’s kinda our thing?” She smiles, then turns her back on you.

Unable to find anyone else, and so full of shrimp even you’ve had enough, you see no option but to leave.

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